My Forever Memories of You grief blog- birth from death

January 13, 2021

Dear Friends,

On this day, twenty-eight years ago, it seemed my life was ripped in two—before my husband’s passing and after. It felt like the world should stop turning. Nothing would ever be the same. How could I possibly go on living without him? Even though we had known he was going to die for almost four years; even though his battle between life and death led to many ministry opportunities; even though he had “died” before and was brought back—it was still life-shattering when he passed. No matter how prepared you are, death can still be such a devastating shock.


Yet there is a birth that comes from death…

Just as in the birth of a child, there is an intense labor first. There is the pain of watching a loved one die, the pain from the trauma of how they die, the pain of the intense grief of those left behind. I remember the pastor officiating at my husband’s funeral quoted John 12:24, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” It made me think of the day my husband came out of his bedroom one morning and told me he would no longer pray for healing. Surprised, I asked him why? He said the Lord had let him know that if he was willing to suffer in this way, many lives would be helped. My young husband told me that he was willing.  Twenty-eight years later, there is no way to count the number of people who have been eternally impacted through the lives he touched and through the grief ministry that was born out of his death.


One precious thing that is born from the devastation of the death of a loved one is discovering what a treasure life is. The majority of grievers try to tell everyone to cherish their loved ones while they have them. So much of life is taken for granted. Death helps us to realize that the sound of a voice, holding hands, the smell or warmth of someone close, being able to share your ordinary day, watching a sunset together, or listening to the rain…all these little things are no longer ignored. They are the greatest treasures on earth.


One time, Steve “died” in my arms. I had time to notify family before they “brought him back.” After a month on life support, when he was able to talk, he told me he had gone to heaven. After that, all fear of death was gone. He knew what he had to look forward to. Of course, I wanted to know every single detail about our next life. Steve kept saying, “I never knew God gave so much when He gave His Son!” He gave Jesus Christ to die for us, knowing that as we believe and accept Him as our payment for sin, there is new eternal life born in us. As we are willing to die to ourselves, Jesus is born to live in us.


My dear friends, Steve has been living that new life. Death is not the end, it is the beginning!

Love and prayers,



1 Corinthians 15:54-55:

“When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

 “Where, O death, is your victory?

    Where, O death, is your sting?”


Most Holy Father,


I wonder if it was on purpose that You created our tongues next to our teeth… These days, my teeth have had to bite my tongue, or at least grind together to keep my words from spilling out too freely! I have commented and then quickly deleted before dangerous words escaped. Even when I think I will burst if I don’t speak, or in many cases- respond to the hateful ugly words which are freely flying all over the place, wounding many in the process. Oh, Lord! I do need help taming my tongue, or even my fingers as they want to spew out thoughts. I know I’m not the only one with this issue. Jesus, help me take every thought and word captive. Let me hold back my words until I’ve held them before You and prayed. I need You to be my filter, Lord!


Help me use my ears to truly listen to the frustrations and thoughts others have. Lord, let me have Your ears to truly listen even to those who think differently than I do. Just as I desire to be heard and understood, I know they do, too. Instead of trying to correct, argue, or fight as they voice their thoughts, let me listen to what they are really thinking. Help me hold my tongue until I see their heart. Once they see I truly care about them and have given them the gift of respectfully listening, perhaps they might do the same for me. Even if they don’t…Even if they still hate me…Even if they believe I am dreadfully evil, help me answer with Your love. Let me respond with Your grace. They will never be open to hearing what I have to say if they feel attacked.


Father, through the years, You have patiently listened to my demands, my whining, my anger, my complaints, my fears, my anxieties… You are the best Listener of all. When You speak, it is always with few words of truth wrapped in love (even when You have had to correct me time and again). I cannot do this on my own. I need Your Spirit living in me to dominate and control my natural clamoring. Lord, help me be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.




“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.”   James 1:19-21


“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”   James 1:26


“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”   2 Corinthians 10:5




Your prayer prompt-

Father, show me when I am speaking out of my own self and let Your words prevail….