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Dear Friends,
Yesterday, I stopped in a store to look for a pair of shoes (At least that’s why I thought I was there). A friend saw me before I saw her and practically attacked me with one of those long I-really-need-this hugs. I hadn’t seen her in person since her mother was killed in a car wreck two years ago. She just got through honoring her mom’s birthday—and now she was dreading Mother’s Day this weekend. I never found any shoes but I believe God sent someone she knew would understand. I didn’t have any words of wisdom just a long understanding hug…because Mother’s Day can be hard.

I personally know and love many mothers and children who are dreading Mother’s Day…a mom who never got to see her young son reach true manhood, another mom who has had to watch both her children die on separate occasions but will be honored by her delightful surviving little granddaughter who will know her as mom the rest of her life, another mom who lives with the trauma of watching her strong adult son who was married with children waste away from cancer, another mom whose son died in a freak bicycle accident 19 years ago at the age of ten, lots of moms who lost babies before they were born, moms who lost one twin at birth but delivered a healthy twin, older moms who thought they would go first but have had to bury their grown children, mothers whose children are alive but lost to drugs, mental illness or “Who knows where they are,” moms who are forgotten in a nursing home…

Mother’s Day is hard for children and husbands who are still learning to live without their beloved moms/wives (the one who held them dear, cared for them, prayed for them and kept record of memories). Mother’s Day is hard for those who made a decision to abort a pregnancy and live with regrets that only God can heal. It is hard for women who gave their child up for adoption or had them taken away. Mother’s Day is hard for children and moms who have severed relationships.

Mother’s Day is hard for women who struggle with infertility or have never had children, for those who foster or adopt children with trauma, for those who have children with special needs which demands their lives. Mother’s Day is difficult for those who are raising children without their dad.

There are a lot of reasons Mother’s Day can be hard, but there are a lot of reasons to be thankful for the blessings of being a mom or having a mom (even if she has left this earth—or never lived up to your vision of what a mom should be). There are blessings in knowing mothers or even being a mom-figure to others who need a mother’s love in their lives.

This Mother’s Day may be hard—but I encourage you to focus on the blessings of having the chance to love like a mom or be loved by a mom. Thank God for making mothers and women who love like moms. Some of the greatest blessings are found in the hardest circumstances.

Love and prayers for a blessed Mother’s Day,
Eva

God’s word in Isaiah 66:13: “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you…”

Good morning, dear friends!

I know Mother’s Day is on a lot of your minds. It is a hard day for so many of you who have lost your wife, mom, an infant, or an adult or young child.

A lot of these special days can be painful. Sometimes the anticipation of the pain is almost worse than how it turns out. Other times, it can be extremely challenging as you watch others celebrate with their loved ones who are still with them. There will be a temptation to be angry, bitter or envious.

It is best to have some kind of plan in place. However you used to celebrate this day, it has definitely changed and you cannot make it go back the way it was–no matter how badly you want to. But you can certainly make a simple plan how you will face this day and still honor your loved one in some way. The following are simply examples. You may come up with something as unique as your precious loved one.

 

*Plant a rose bush or some other perennial type flower in their honor.

*Write them a Mothers’ Day letter or card telling them what you appreciate about them.

*If you lost a baby or child, write a letter with all your dreams and hopes you had for them.

*Write a letter to the Lord telling Him thank You for the gift He gave you through them.

*Go to church to thank God for the gift He gave you in them.

*Wear something that signifies them in your life (necklace, white flower, a hat…) Be ready to tell others you are wearing it for them. That’s all you have to say unless you want to say more.

*If you are ready (and only if and when) you could give something of theirs to another mom or child in remembrance of them

*Or get them a gift you know they would like and find someone to give it to.

*Eat their favorite meal.

*Watch their favorite movie or read their favorite book.

Yes, some of these or other things you might have thought of, sound painful but it will actually help in the long run. It is important to review your life together, no matter how long or short the time you had with one another. One of the most important purposes of grief is to reflect and be able to be thankful for their life. When you do that, it helps you be able to find a way to go on until you are reunited forever.

Also, don’t feel guilty for taking a break from grief to laugh, smile and enjoy a moment. I won’t say “Happy Mothers’ Day” but I will pray that it becomes a richer, deeper, more meaningful day because of the love you share with your loved one.

Love and prayers.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…” Proverbs 31:28